


Beyond the Pain

by aurugentum



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Kerberos Mission, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Safe For Work, Soulmates, Soulmates AU, Themes of torture and pain but nothing graphic, also during shiro's time in captivity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 13:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9073750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurugentum/pseuds/aurugentum
Summary: Keith can feel his soulmate, Shiro's, pain as he goes through torture and fighting for his life for an entire year. He tries his best to keep Shiro's spirit alive by writing reassuring words to him on his arm.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my friend, Ari's, birthday. Have a wonderful birthday and I hope you enjoy this!

The Garrison is wrong. Shiro's not dead. Keith knows that for certain, not because he doesn't want to believe he's gone or that he could in any way be capable of fatal error. While those are true sentiments, he knows he's alive because he can feel him. There's a bond between soulmates that would be extinguished if he were truly gone.

He's alive, thankfully.

The bad news to it came early, however, and it's something Keith had to live with. He couldn't focus in class due to anger that the Garrison just gave up on their star piloting student and...something else. Something he had to hide every time it happened and it was unbearable. And if it was for him...

He can only imagine.

Keith can't hide it any more, each day it happens more frequently and in more intense increments and he has to get out of there. He has to leave. So he ends up in the desert, in a shack, where he can keep this between him and Shiro; where he can devote time to keeping up with him and reassuring him. He's lost and angry; angry at the Garrison for giving up, angry that Shiro was out there somewhere being hurt and there was nothing he could do about it. Not from here.

One night is all it takes to both give him hope and turn him into an anxious mess. Keith can't say he regrets that night, because it's when he felt something, felt an energy that could lead him to Shiro...lead him to _something_. He's unsure of it, but it gives him some kind of hope, something to put his mind into to distract from everything else happening.

Before hope, he feels pain.

Usually the pain is something he can tolerate. He's avidly aware that Shiro's going through it and he shares the pain and holds on for him. Keith can't be near him to rescue him but if he can do at least this, then maybe he could help Shiro hold on until he figured out how to find him. Messages were written across his arms in the past, when the pain had subsided and he knew Shiro needed the little comforting words and doodles. Even if he couldn't write back, he knows the messages will show up on his skin.

It starts again, this time on his arm and he picks up his pen to keep for when it's over. But the pain builds, searing into his upper arm and pulling tight. This time isn't the same...it's not a fight, he can handle that because that was his life anyway. No, his arm feels as though it shoots up in flames, shaking his core and he holds it with his left hand, doubling over and screaming. The pen clatters to the ground, slipping from his fingers but the only sound that fills the room is his cries.

Whatever Shiro was feeling was worse, he knows that so he holds on with him. 

His one regret is that there's nothing he can do. Nothing to ease that pain. No way he can attack whoever was doing this to him, to the kind man he loves. He doesn't deserve it but whoever took him does and he vows to remember this pain and deliver it back ten times in turn.

Tears stream down his face, eyes shutting tight as it continues for what seems like hours and the room eventually grows dark, slipping into unconsciousness. When he wakes up, his arm feels as though it's gone. He can still feel it, but it feels hollow somehow and he knows why.

They took his arm.

It's horrifying, the thought that someone would do this and he can't completely understand why someone would. He's angry again, breathing slowly to calm himself so he can pick up his pen, remembering Shiro's words to focus.

_Patience yields focus._

He had to be patient to find him and to soothe him. His eyes close, and he focuses, using the pen to draw a small star on each finger of his left hand to alert him. He knows he'll feel the drawing but he wants him to see these things so he can be sure to hide any messages he's written until he's safe. Or...as safe as he can be, safe from eyes that would work to hurt him if they knew he had communication.

_'You'll make it through this. You're strong.'_

There's a wet feeling on his arm moments later, small droplets hitting the words and he knows Shiro's crying. He leans his head back against his futon, wishing there was more he could do then his eyes drift to the board he'd been working on, slowly piecing together what the energy out there was. He grabs a cloth and erases his writing, pen back on his arm.

_'I'll find you and bring you home.'_

_'I love you.'_

 

\---

 

Shiro's eyes burn as he stares down at the writing on his still human arm. He's not sure how human he is any more, not after being broken over a long period of time and now...his arm was replaced with some technology. The writing itself isn't what makes him cry, it's the feeling behind it and the fact that this man he loves, despite feeling every bit of pain he's been going through, is still there for him, cheering him on.

What had he done to deserve someone like him?

He wants so badly to write back, to tell him he's fine even if he isn't. There's no way he can reassure him or talk to him or take the focus off his own pain and put it onto Keith. He's terrified that Keith is hanging on to him and not living his own life and he can feel him, feel whatever is hurting him mentally. The thought kills him inside, because Shiro knows he's the source of all Keith's pain, physical and mental. If he hadn't... If only he was home, Keith wouldn't have to feel this, he could be safe and they could be together. There's not a moment where he won't beat himself up, for Keith, for losing the Holts, for letting his team down and not being experienced enough to do anything about it.

Every single message Keith has written down on his arm is like a reminder to keep fighting. It helps, and it's not different in this moment. When he reads the words he feels less broken, less damaged and worthless, less like just a tool for the entertainment of a society of fucked up aliens.

Keith fuels him, drives him forward and he's not sure what he'd do if it weren't for those reassuring words staining his flesh. He knows he'd likely lose himself, because each day he can feel himself slipping under the pressure, feel his mind cracking like an egg and yet his drive to save his team and to see Keith again keeps him fighting and moving forward despite his lessening sanity.

He wants to hug him, to feel his warmth against his body and to kiss him until all the pain and heartache goes away. That's not possible. He holds his arms across his body, slowly activating his arm and it heats up, giving off a warmth he could give to his love. The purple glow fades before it can do any damage to either of them, but he thinks it's enough.

And he's right. Keith feels it, feels Shiro's arms around his chest and midsection as though he were there in the room hugging him. Before the warmth can fade, Keith returns it, holding his arms in the same position and hoping it reaches Shiro, wherever he is. It's both enough and not enough at the same time and he feels the warm liquid spilling over his cheeks.

Sadness and warmth fill both of their hearts as they lean their heads back, each man hugging themselves and thinking fondly of the other. Memories of when they were together at the Garrison, when they would sneak into each others' rooms after curfew just to get to curl up together and talk until it was too late for either of them to keep their eyes open.

One would always fall asleep before the other and the one left awake would hold him, stroke his hair and watch with fond eyes until falling into a comfortable and safe sleep.

But neither has slept often now. There was too much at stake, too much to do or too much to deal with. Too many thoughts swirling in both of their heads.

For now, in lieu of physicality or words written down, Shiro can only think about his love for Keith and hope it reaches him somehow, at least the feeling. It pains him that he can't return it.

 

\---

 

Time passes and the ritual of pain followed by soothing words continues. Shiro's grateful for it and it gives him the strength to try to escape. He's not sure how he'll do it, but he's confident. Over the entire time he was held captive he had been building up a repertoire of information he could use one day and he's sure now is the time.

He's timed the step of the robotic guards, and if he could just make it to an escape pod he could get back to Earth. Get back to Keith. Oh, when he sees him he's going to never let him go and keep him safe by his side. Even if things had changed over time between them, and he didn't see himself as deserving of Keith's love or attention, he could be there with him and make sure to protect him.

Shiro's a broken man now, and he's changed physically as well as mentally. Those facts terrify him and fill him with overwhelming doubts that Keith won't love him any more but...they're soulmates, they'd make it through this, wouldn't they? Somehow they'd make it work, he has faith in that, but still thinks lesser of himself. It doesn't stop him from loving Keith.

His heart beats against his chest hard, threatening to burst through any minute as he waits for the guards to pass by. That's when he sees the stars on his fingers again, soothing him and he lifts his sleeve to see another message.

_'I love you.'_

He has to write back, he just has to. The purple glow signifies the activation of his arm and with a deep breath he sears words into his arm. He knows it'll hurt both of them, but he has to. It isn't a risk he would take otherwise, and certainly not to give Keith pain. So he acts quickly, biting down on his lips as he writes.

_'I love you too.'_

_'I'm coming home.'_


End file.
